June 2020 – Karleen Boodhai

As I shook his hands I felt a barrel full of sparks running up my spine, through my veins, deep into the very core of my heart…..

As he sat across from me, he stared deeply within my soul, I felt a rush of underlying pain…….

Then I saw who he really was. A dark and painful soul from another world….

I saw rivers of tears, fire, darkness, rage, pain, loneliness, part of which he was reborn and return with and a part that was caused forthwith…….

I saw a glimpse of past lust, passion, parties, cars, castle….

I saw him passionately hugging someone, deeply but gently kissing her soft beautiful lips…..

I saw Christmas lights, I saw dancing in the snow……
I saw a fireplace….
I saw they both thoroughly caressing, touching, making undying passionate love to each other, to the depth of there core….

I saw a car crash where she was no more….
I saw as he awakened in search of his other half…
He was told she is of no more……
His screamed echoed into another lifetime…
Reaching the lord ears….

As I pulled myself together, I realize who he was, a past comes back to touch my heart, my soul, my very being….

At our second meeting, he said to me, without knowing who I really am….
You seem different from your family….
You seem like you don’t belong….
We sat and spoke for many hours….
Bout him, bout me, bout life, bout hurt, bout pain, bout all the things we both felt in this modern-day and times…..

I said to him I will help you….
But u have to promise to listen and to do what I say….
I will teach you to prayer and guide you to do the things to help you clear your way…..

I will be there for you to make sure you are victorious, successful and accomplished……
I will guide you through the extremes of moments……
I will help you clear your past so things will flow as it ought too…
I will motivate you….
I will teach u to trust, have faith, to have the belief so that you will reach your destination….

And when I have cast away the hurt and pain….
And fill your heart once again with buckets full of joy, laughter, happiness, compassion, desires, and all in the world you have to gain….

I shall return to my own pain…..
Disappear never to be heard of again…..
Never to be seen again….
Walk away with nothing but memories of illusions…..
Of a past painful world…
Of many current undeniable moments….
Of the stabbing piercing hurtful present pain….
Never to be spoken of again…..

As I awoke today,
My first sight was the beauty of the awaking sun,

And as I prayed,
I saw no one else, but only you,

And at that moment I realize what u truely mean to me,

Cause I know even in your silence,
U do care,
U do think of me,
Even if it’s for a brief moment,
Your silence do speak to me,

But I know you are a man of many scenarios,
Many words are spoken,
But few are meaningful to you,

I want you to know even tho I write chapters of meaningless words to you,

It’s my way of showing you,

That you have my heart with you,
That you have my prayers with you,
That you have my best wishes with you,
That I miss being with you,
That I crave to be with you,
Cause I am getting use to you,

And that even tho you speak in silence,
You speak in volumes to.

-Karleen Boodhai.

Month: June 2020

UNDENYING MOMENTS

A THOUSAND WORDS OF SILENCE